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An open letter to my rapist

To the monster who raped me,

I originally wanted to say “to the man who raped me” but I don’t think I could give you the title of man when I know a real man would never do what you have done.

I wonder if you think of me, if you remember that night in such vivid detail that you could recall the scent of my skin. Do I rent space in your head? You have been a squatter in the abandoned part of my mind; the part I want to condemn and tear down but there you are ignoring my eviction notice not allowing me to move completely forward. I have built a beautiful city of dreams and accomplishments around the slum you live in that’s called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I put up a tall wall so no one in my life has to see you, and see the damage you have done.

Did your life change that night too? Do you carry that night like a dirty secret or badge of honor? Are you ashamed like me? Did that night teach you how easy it was to make someone a victim because it showed me how easy it was to b…

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